


So Much Broken Glass

by muaaimoi



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, Klain, M/M, Multi, Skank!Kurt, dub-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 23:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muaaimoi/pseuds/muaaimoi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt's been a Skank since his freshman year. He's never had much choice in the matter, for all he convinces himself otherwise, since he never managed to protests anything. He joins New Directions in the hope of finding his voice. It's not the only thing he learns to take back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Kurt has sex, he likes to believe it’s a choice. His choice. He chose to go. It was pretty obvious, really, in retrospect, what Eric had wanted from the start. Eric Chase was a senior, three years older than him at seventeen, and the social king of Mckinley High. He was rich, the star quarterback, and definitely dating the head cheerleader. If not for the last little detail, he would be everything Kurt has ever wanted in a guy, but had been so very sure he couldn't have.

That’s why, when Eric corners him at a secluded spot by the bleachers at lunch, and kisses him full on the mouth, Kurt just goes with it. He tries to kiss back as best as he can, head rushing, heart pounding, because this amazing, movie star good looking guy, is kissing him. And it’s like a dream come true. Kurt hasn't even come out of the closet yet, and he’s just had his very first kiss. Plus the guy is really hot.

So what if he only knows Eric because everyone does? So what if it’s not romantic, and he’s pretty sure he hasn't said two words to the guy. It’s his first kiss. It’s special. So if Eric’s hands go down too far and touch him in ways that make him both hot and extremely uncomfortable, Kurt can ignore it.

He gets really good at that; at ignoring it. Eric corners him at lunch a lot. And then he tells Kurt to wait after school for him under the bleachers. Kurt goes, the school is usually deserted after football practice. He thinks this might be what he’s waiting for, a chance to talk, to ask Eric why he wants him, what he actually wants from Kurt. If he ever plans to take Kurt out on a real date... He's fourteen, he's allowed to hope.

Then Eric shows up. They don’t talk.

But Kurt does moan, he moans a lot, completely overwhelmed. Eric comes prepared, he has lube, and a dildo that stretches Kurt wide open. Open enough that he has almost no trouble taking Eric's actual cock. 

It’s his first time. Eric doesn't even have the decency to kiss him after they’re done.

Kurt limps home, grateful it’s Friday and his Dad has a long day at the garage. He takes a shower. Hears his Dad come home, they have dinner. Then he takes another shower. He showers a lot that weekend. Come Monday Eric corners him at their regular spot. The kissing feels different this time, almost frantic. Then Eric pulls away from him and drops his pants.

His intention is perfectly clear. 

Later, Kurt won't be able to figure out why he’d done it. He can’t remember what he’d been thinking, why he had gone on his knees without protest. But he had.

Eric suddenly starts talking to him after that. He gives Kurt all sorts of hints and tips to refine his technique. Praises him whenever Kurt manages to get better at anything that has to do with sex. He actually leaves Kurt with a dildo and lube a few weeks later, so he can prepare himself before Eric gets there. 

It’s the first time Kurt has stretched himself out for him that Eric’s girlfriend finds them. The tears of shame he’d managed to hold in while fucking himself with a dildo under the bleachers begin to fall at the sight of Heather Morris. 

“ Well what do we have here?” The cheerleader asks, snide.

Kurt want’s to die, he’s never been so ashamed in his life. He’s not prepared to feel Eric laughing inside him. They shift and he finds himself straddling his lap. The new angle forces him in deeper, and it’s all Kurt can do not to groan. Then Eric's large lube covered hand begins stroking his dick and that battle is lost. He doesn't understand why they’re still fucking when Eric’s girlfriend is right there.

“ Just Kurt, Baby.” Eric says. It barely registers, but it’s the first time he’s heard Eric say his name. He realizes then, with a sick lurch of his stomach, that he hadn't known that the football player actually knew it.” We agreed I was gonna take him under my wing, remember?”

Kurt is finding it very hard to think. All he knows is that he’s very confused.

“ It really is such a shame Quinn’s such a bible humper, She’s so pretty. And that Finn kid, cute and tall, but he’s just not hot.”Heather sighs, ” But I guess Kurt will do.”

Kurt doesn't manage to actually process any of that before all hope of rational thought is stolen from him. There is a mouth on his dick. There is a pretty girls mouth on his dick, and Kurt doesn't care that it’s a girl in the least, it doesn't matter that he’s not actually attracted to the gender, because there is a mouth on his dick that is doing sinful things with it’s tongue.

Eric gives a particularly hard thrust and Kurt can feel every inch of his cock in his ass and he’s coming long before he’s realized it. Kurt comes so hard that his vision swims and time loses all meaning.

“..asty” Heather is saying when Kurt finally becomes aware of his surroundings. There is a hand playing with his dick and he whimpers, sore and over sensitive. Somehow it doesn't keep him from getting hard. Eric is still thick and throbbing inside him.” Man I really love virgins.”

That’s when he notices Heather pulling her underwear off.

‘ No’, Kurt thinks, ‘Please no’. He doesn't want to have sex with a girl. He never want’s to have sex with a girl. The idea very idea of it kind of makes him want to hurl. But when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out.

Heather sit’s on his lap. That’s how he thinks about it, the only way he can wrap his mind around it. Heather sit’s on his lap and Kurt focuses on every inch of Eric he can feel pressed up against and inside him. At least that’s familiar.

Kurt doesn't know how long they stay that way. Heather sit’s and bounces in his lap, Eric thrusts up behind him, and Kurt goes a little numb to it all. It doesn't hurt. There’s no reason for him to be crying. But he does. He cries until Heather’s walls clamp forcefully around him.The added feel of Eric going inside of him is what get’s him to come with her. 

Heather laughs once he slips out of her, breathless.

“ Not bad” She says.” I’m gonna teach you everything you need to know about how to make a woman cum. You know what, I’ll teach you everything about sex, period. My legacy should live on.”

Then she leans forward and kisses him. It’s nothing like kissing Eric. Eric leads him, when they kiss. Eric set’s the pace, and how long each kiss lasts. Heather isn't interested in anything other than plundering his mouth. Her tongue invaded his mouth like it’ was marking it’s territory. But something about the way it slides against his own surprises him into a moan. It’s a great kiss, passionate, almost desperate, but skilled, too. Heather clearly knows what she’s doing. It’s better than his first, for all that she’s not a boy. It leaves him dazed, kissing back.

Kurt manages to hate her a little more, just for that.

“ You have potential.” Heather breathes against his lips.” This is gonna be fun. Let’s go Jock- strap.”

It’s only then Kurt remembers that Eric's there too. His face is turned towards Heather, and there's something on it that’s painfully familiar to Kurt. Even if he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is.

Heather pulls up her panties and they leave. 

It takes Kurt a while, but he manages to pull on his clothes. It takes three tries to lace his shoes to realize he’s trembling. Kurt bites his lips. They’re gone, maybe now, even if they’re not there to hear it. If he could just say it aloud... 

Kurt opens his mouth. He want’s to cry, he want’s to scream. He want’s to tell them that they make him sick. Nothing comes out. His mouth clicks shut in defeat.

“ What are you doing here?” A voice calls out. He doesn't even have it in him to jump at being startled.

“ You smell like sex.” The girl says around the cigarette in her mouth. She’s eyeing him like a piece of meat. Kurt feels so unclean. He just want’s a shower. But that means walking. And walking means feeling the burn Eric’s cock left in his ass. Kurt can’t deal with that right now. He doesn't want to deal with any of what just happened. Ever. The girl before him snorts.” I’m Ronnie, and I like it.”

Some part of Kurt deep inside that has preserved something like decency rears to the forefront. He has manners, the least he can do is introduce himself. He opens his mouth to do it, but he’s still mute.

“ Looks like you need one of these.” Ronnie says, and waves a cigarette in his face. Kurt reaches for it reflexively. 

Kurt has never smoked a day in his life. He’d never had any interest in cigarettes, he thought the habit unhygienic and disgusting. He tries not to think about why he’s doing it as he brings the cigarette to his mouth anyway.

Ronnie lights him up.” Don’t get used to this. This is Skank territory.”

Kurt wraps his arms around himself. Taking the smoke is easier than going down on Eric, and the taste of ash masks the taste Heather's tongue left in his mouth. It helps, a little, but it helps. It helps him think. He thinks about the boy he’s been having sex with. Think’s about Heather’s words, the way they sounded like a promise. Thinks about his own immobility. His inability to say anything to either of the people he had sex with not a full twenty minutes ago. Even after they were gone.

“ I think I might qualify.” Kurt says. It’s the first thing he’s managed to say all day.

Ronnie smiles at him. There's something broken in it Kurt understands perfectly.


	2. Chapter 2

Freshman year passes in a haze of sex with strangers.

It doesn't start that way. But by the time Heather and Eric graduate, there's no denying that's what he's done. It probably doesn't help that Kurt has never bothered keeping track of the people he sleeps with.

"You don't believe in labels." Heather informs him the day after she first fucks him."You just like sex."

After the third time Kurt comes inside her, he almost believes it. Except for the part where he's been gay as long as he can remember. This doesn't keep him from having sex with Heather though. So maybe she knows what she's talking about better than he does.

He starts smoking with the skanks, meets the rest of them. The other girls are called Sheila and Mac. They're not people he'd ever thought he'd hang out with. But Sheila will put pretty much anything in her mouth, and he's pretty sure Mac has had more sex than him. Ronnie just likes to sniff him after he's had sex. The smell get's her off, freak that she is. He wonders, sometimes, how awful of him it is to find the knowledge comforting.

But it helps. It makes him feel better about himself, fuck toy that he is.

He keeps having sex with Eric and Heather. He shouldn't. It makes him feel unclean, dirty somewhere deep inside where no amount of showers ever reach. He's not even attracted to women. It's probably doing bad things to his subconscious. Messing with him on a level he doesn't even want to contemplate.

But every day, after school, he's there. Under the bleachers like clock work.

Kurt tried not to go back after the first time. He'd stood in the boys bathroom and tried desperately to talk himself into walking towards the buses. To go home to his empty house and watch Project Runway or Wicked. Anything to lose himself in and just forget the world existed for a while.

He hadn't. Couldn't.

Because at least they see him.

They even touch him, Kurt can't quite bring himself to care that it's only sexual. It almost doesn't matter that it's only to get off, it's the most contact he's had since back before he can remember. If he's honest, it's the same reason Kurt went with the gorgeous senior that first time. Eyes on his face. A hand on his shoulder. He'd been hungry for it for so long. He still was. In some ways he might always be. Completely skin starved.

After grade school, where he was untouchable. And middle school, where he was invisible. Kurt had stepped into Mckinley fully expecting to be a ghost. Someone that didn't even exist unless the Jocks remembered they liked to cause him humiliation and pain.

Having someone see him, touch him, it's addictive. Kurt's so hungry for it that he thinks that's why they keep him. He'd been nothing but a virgin to start with, after all.

It's worth it when Kurt manages not to think about it too hard. The shame lives under his skin, but in the wake of having them pay attention to him, positive attention at that, even if only technically, Kurt can be okay with that.

Probably...Eventually.

He stops buying vogue magazines. He doesn't deserve to look at cutting edge fashion. He doesn't deserve to wear it either. Kurt finds himself looking in a mirror and mostly hating the person that looks back. He doesn't want to be as weak as he is. But he can't help it.

Two weeks after Heather started using him too, they bring in this guy. A football player, Kurt doesn't know his name. Heather teaches him to fuck her properly while alternating blow jobs. At least this time, they use protection. Heather assures him that she's on the pill, so she doesn't bother, but he's told, under no uncertain terms, that whenever he sleeps with other people beside her and Eric, he has to use protection.

At first Kurt is sort of relieved at the decree.

Then he's horrified by the implication. They give him boxes of condoms. Eric start's bringing other guys at lunch behind the learns he's better off not knowing their names. Heather drags him into the janitors closet to sleep with cheerleaders. He's late to class a lot. He has to start doing extra credit to keep his grades up. No matter what he's doing in the present, Kurt is getting out of Lima someday, and his grades need to be pristine if that's ever going to happen. It helps that the curriculum at Mckinley isn't challenging in the least. He's going to be the only slut on the honor roll if it kills him.

Kurt dyes his hair pink. His Dad eyes hims strangely but seems to think it's a fashion thing, so it's easily dismissed. Kurt knows his father loves him. After his mother died, he and his father only had each other. But there's too much distance there now. Too much difference. He doesn't even think his father notices the way his eyes seem to skim right over Kurt sometimes.

He knows his father is busy. Kurt has spent enough summers helping out in his garage to know that running your own business is nothing to sneeze at. But long hours mean that Kurt is by himself a lot. And even when he comes home, knowing that his own father doesn't even see him... Kurt has gone weeks without saying a word before.

No one notices. Is it really any wonder he's so desperate for attention? That he's willing to take it any way he can get it?

Kurt wants his Dad to be proud of him, he does. But that's not a goal he knows how to achieve. So he settles for keeping his new after school activities completely secret and comes to the grim realization that his Dad can never know what happens to him. Kurt would rather die. If his Dad ever found out, he just might, he thinks.

He sheer's his bangs off not long after he has that thought.

Kurt deserves the automatic cringe every time he catches sight of his reflection. It helps that he doesn't look like himself anymore. It makes it easier to accept what he is now. What he's become. The guys he hooks up with tend to bring it to his attention a lot. They call him a whore, or a slut.

And almost amusingly, every once in awhile, a skank.

He's out of protection within two months. He thinks the stuttering, mumbling mess he is when he tells Heather might be progress. It's better than the mute robot that he'd been before. He really hates that the first words he'd managed to tell her where a request for more condoms though. At least she manages to take him seriously. She starts presenting him with condoms twice a week. Kurt hides them under his bed. He kind of starts to feel like he's stockpiling them.

He takes scissors to his selection of shirts and doesn't even bother trying to be artistic.

Three months into his slut training, as Heather tends to call it with odd affection, she takes him to a tattoo parlor. He can't quite articulate his relief when she tell him he's not there to get tatted. Or his horror when she tells him he's there to get 'sex piercings' instead.

"Only the important one's" Heather promises with a wicked smile.

The important ones turn out to be on his tongue and his dick. He's almost painfully grateful that its the last day before winter break. The piercings also drive in how truly pathetic Kurt is. How desperate he is for Heathers approval.

There aren't words for how much getting his dick pierced hurts. He does it anyway.

Heather pays for all of it and then takes him home to ice his junk. There's no hiding the one on his tongue from his dad though. Especially since he can't eat anything solid.

"You should have asked me." His dad says, and then he's grounded for the entirety of his break. Kurt's almost grateful for the insurance against going anywhere else. His dick is too sore to work. The same goes for his tongue. But he knows that if Eric or Heather had wanted him to, he would have tried.

Kurt is aware that his pathetic desperation for contact knows no bounds.

So when his piercings heal enough and Heather tells him he's sneaking out to a party, Kurt goes.

He spends most of the night going from room to room, participating in threeway after three way. It helps that Heather keeps piling him with beer. It's his first time getting drunk, but he knows, instinctively, it won't be the last.

"It's the best way to cement your reputation as bisexual." Heather says. People ask him if he's a fag and Kurt repeats that he doesn't believe in labels and that he just really likes sex a lot. At least he knows he's good at it, if the amount of orgasms he leaves in his wake is anything to go by.

By the time he leaves, Kurt is very sore and very wasted, Eric throws him over his shoulder and takes him home. Kurt has no idea how they sneak in without waking his Dad, but Eric disappears for a while and returns with water and Advil. It's almost enough to make Kurt start believing in god.

"You did good tonight." Eric whispers softly, rubbing his back. Kurt almost cries at the prevails, chest tight and just pathetically grateful for the praise."Don't worry. Heather is really good with plans. She's going to take really good care of you, like she took care of me. I don't like having sex with girls either, but this way everyone just thinks that your slutty and take all the sex you can get. Before, I was really scared to be called a fag and stuff, but everyone knows that I fuck you and everyone just thinks me and Heather are really kinky."

"You're really gay?" Kurt slurs and he's almost scared to believe it. It sounds too good to be true. Eric chuckles and crawls into bed with him, wrapping his arms around him in a hug that feels criminally good.

"Very. And you're just my type. At first I thought you looked a little young, but you're just so pretty-and bendy." Eric kisses him just behind the ear. It isn't dirty, not like he wants Kurt to prove just how bendy he is, but affectionate. Kurt can feel himself blush. "If the world were different, I would have asked you out. Wine and dined you before I kissed you and made you mine."

Eric drops another kiss behind his ear and tightens his arms around him. For a moment Kurt justs basks in the knowledge; he is wanted. He lost his virginity to a boy who is gay, and did really like him. So there is that, at least.

"I would have liked that." Kurt murmurs, feeling shy."We could still go on a date you know. Maybe Breadsticks?"

"I wish baby." Eric says, and his hand is running through Kurt's hair now, it feels really nice.

"But Heather won't allow it. She's worked really hard to make people forget I was gay loser before. We both have. We worked really hard for the last three year, you wouldn't believe how much I actually hate football. When I'm off to college I'm finally going to find a boyfriend, one that likes COD as much as I do. "

" Why can't you find a boyfriend now?" Kurt asks. Bummed that he won't be that boyfriend, but oddly okay with Eric having one. All he knows about COD is that it's a video game."Just ask Heather to keep pretend dating you and stop sleeping with me." It seems simple enough.

He doesn't expect Eric to laugh softly against him. "The deal was for four years. Just this one left. It's only four years. I know it makes you feel dirty sometimes, but you should listen to Heather. We're both leaving next year. Neither one of us is going to be here to protect you. So we have to make you part of the popular crowd now, and sex is the easiest way to do that. You're young, so the piercings and even the pink hair, all of that make you seem extra slutty. Pretty soon you're going to start catching flack for that. Just remember that as much as people shame you, they're mostly jealous, and your rep protects you."

With that Eric disentangles himself from Kurt, drops a chaste kiss on his lips and leaves. Kurt falls asleep with the knowledge that he's going to have a lot to think about in the morning.

When school starts back up, Kurt starts paying attention to his peers again. He spends the entire day with a hot flush of shame crawling down his neck. He honestly doesn't know how he's managed to ignore everything people say about him before.

"That's Hummel, I heard he'll fuck anything that moves."

"I don't like the punk look, but Stacy says his dick made her see stars."

"It's not gay if Hummel blows you, dude. It's just Hummel, you gotta make an exception for talent like that. Kid was born to suck cock, my girlfriend isn't half that good."

And so on and so forth. Each sentence is almost worse than the last. It's such a relief to make it to the other Skanks. Ronnie offers him a smoke the way she usually does and Kurt does his best not to think about what people say about him. Especially now that he knows that was the plan all along.

Kurt can remember his first and only Slushie pretty well. He's seen other kids get tossed in the dumpster, and he's heard tell of swirlies and porta-potties. It's the first time he realizes that no one bullies him anymore. No locker slams or pee balloons. They've pretty much left him alone since the day Eric kissed him.

He'd been a little too preoccupied with Eric and well, sex, since to give it much thought.

But it's true. People point to him, look at him with want or scorn, but pretty much everyone leaves him alone. The same is true of the other Skanks, but Kurt's pretty much the only one of them that regularly wanders the halls, so he's the only one at risk. Sometimes he wonders why the others bother showing up to school at all. As far as he knows, they never go to class.

"I think I want a piercing." Ronnie says one afternoon, at lunch. Kurts already blown a guy while his Cheerio girlfriend watched in the janitors closet so he has about ten minutes until the bell rings. Just enough for an entire cigarette.

He really should stop smoking them, but Ronnies got him pretty hooked. She turns to him." Where did you get yours?"

Kurt thinks about it for a moment before shrugging."I have no idea. I think Heather knew a guy because no one asked about parental consent."

Sheila snorted."Of course your pimp got you a tongue ring."

Kurt shrugs again. He doesn't like that they call Heather that, but he understands why they do. If the shoe fits and all that. Sometimes he hates it, shame rising and drowning him in the knowledge of how utterly pathetic he is. But it never lasts long. Heather will text him that she's picking him up soon, or one of the skanks will go into a horrifying story that captures the entirety of his attention.

It probably takes him too long to realize that Heather treats him like more than a boytoy. She still coordinates who he sleeps with and when. He has the vague suspicion that she uses him as a reward system of sorts. But in between that she gives him tips about teachers, works her popular girl magic to get him notes if he misses a class while he's 'busy'. She even take him to get their nails done together. He matches the polish with whatever hair color he's using at the time..

Eric willingly spends time with him that don't involve their dicks are weekend lunch dates before parties, weekday sleepover study parties before big tests. Which is how he finds himself playing Call of Duty and figuring out that for as much as he loves the game, Eric is terrible at it. Kurt beats him without much fanfare, newbie that he is.

Sometimes, it freaks Kurt out how normal his relationship with the seniors feels. Like they really are his friends and not people who've warped him into the Mckinley High bike.

But Heather takes care of him in little ways that he never expects. She get's him new dye bottles once his roots start to show. And buys him clothes for no reason all the time, expands his accidentally punk wardrobe. She even invites herself over to cook him dinner every once in awhile. She told his Dad she's taken him under her wing and his Dad really likes her.

He wouldn't if he knew the kind of things Heather gets Kurt to do, but he doesn't, so Heather is always welcome at his house.

Kurt catches a cold in late march and doesn't have the energy to be surprised when Heather spoon feeds him chicken soup.

"Don't worry." Heather says, stroking his cheek tenderly." I take good care of everything that's mine."

Kurt has some trouble falling asleep after that, some part of him shaken and aware that he should be alarmed, but his head is swimming. So he lets Heather's hands on his face soothe him until he drifts away. She's stays the entire weekend to take care of him. His Dad loves her and he thinks he might have slipped her the house keys on the sly.

Once he's better, and under Heather as she rides him semi-publicly in listening vicinity of a bonfire party, Kurt muses that he really could have had a worse owner. At least he gets to sleep with a guy after he's gotten another girl out of the way.

Finally, pretty trashed and fucked out, Eric wraps an arm around him and leads him to his car. Eric always makes sure he gets home, he's got sneaking a drunk Kurt back to his house down to an art form.

It's like a slap in the face to realize that it's June.

That his Senior owners will be gone soon and all Kurt will have is the other skanks. He isn't ready when they leave. He's not ready for what happens now that he's alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is still happening, can I have some kind of feedback? It would really help.


	3. Chapter 3

The thing is that Kurt is unprepared. He isn't ready. He's trained himself not to think too hard about his life, or the choices he makes. There is no forethought about what's to come. The immediate future is bleak enough as it is. No one warns him about what it means to be what he is. It's mid summer and Kurt is alone. His seniors have left him for vacations with their families before college starts.

Kurt doesn't even know what's wrong at first. He's a little jittery, a lot antsy, so he clocks countless hours in his Dads garage. Masturbates until his dick feels raw, but he's still just so horny. All but vibrating out of his skin. It's never enough. August dawns, blistering hot and Kurt doesn't know what to do with himself anymore. He's used to being ordered around. Used to being fucked at least twice a day. He doesn't know what to do with his new found freedom. Fashion and Theater, his previous primary interests, are things he's no longer worthy of. Not with how far he has fallen.

Working is about the only thing that's safe. The one thing that will engage his attention so completely he has no time to think. No time to feel, or worse yet, remember. Of course he spends every moment he can there. Works hard enough that his Dad kicks him out. Bars him from the garage for the rest of the summer.

It doesn't take Kurt long to be grateful. Not a full two days later he starts going truly insane. Kurt had been making religious use of the dildo ever since Kevin had left, three weeks into July. Heather almost never slept with him unless she was performing for an audience. There had been a few times when he'd considered asking her. When the itch under his skin got to be too much and he just needed more. Heather had been able to tell. Took him to parties where he could find at least three people willing to fuck him, at least one of which was usually a guy. He hadn't really considered what it would mean when she left.

The itch starts getting bad again and it finally dawns on Kurt that Heather's connections are no longer an option. He doesn't know anyone who will invite him to a party. Doesn't know anyone who will sleep with him and make the frantic ravenous need inside him stop...

Except, except that maybe he does. Ronnie had mentioned that the skanks smoked in the back of the seven eleven a few times. She'd hit on him once or twice. Implied that sex would be more fun with her than with anyone in a cheerio skirt. She's a girl, usually this would automatically disqualify her from the list of people Kurt actually wants to sleep with. But usually Kurt doesn't actually want to have sex with anyone at all. Doesn't want so much it's a physical ache inside him.

It's how he finds himself having sex with the skanks. Ronnie had bragged to the others that he was a great lay, and Kurt spends the rest of the summer holding his libido back until he can't. He has sex with Sheila, he has sex with Mac. Ronnie takes him to crash a cheerio party and he sleeps with so many people he can't keep track.

When school starts again it's almost a relief. There is school work to focus on, he's allowed near the engines again. His father presents him with a Lincoln Navigator Kurt loves beyond words, and he spends countless hours in happy worship of his new baby. He doesn't deserve it, not the car, or his fathers gruff affection. Not being what he is, and doing what he does. But he can't turn it away. So Kurt does his best not to think about it.

It's harder than he makes it look. But no one notices that he's drowning in guilt, and even if they did, it's not as if anyone cares.

It takes him a while to realize that he's not as in demand in the popular crowd as he used to be. There are less red skirts and leather jackets among the people that tug him into closets, or invite him into their beds. He's making his way out of a janitors closet when he realizes the reason for it.

Quinn Fabray looks at him like he's lower than dirt. Everything about her is snobby and condemning. It's clear she considers herself too good to even speak her scorn.

Kurt starts sticking his tongue out at her, just happy there are less Cheerleaders lining up to sleep with him on the off chance of incurring the head Cheerleaders wrath. It's not like he likes sleeping with girls anyway. The sole exception might have been Brittany. But that has more to do with Brittany constantly petting him and the fountain of compliments she is when it comes to how soft his hands are, or how pretty she finds his eyes. There's something so wonderfully uncomplicated about Brittany. She's just so nice, she's one of the only people he sleeps with regularly whose name he knows. He's come to like complimenting her right back. Telling her how beautiful she is, and how toned and flexible he finds her body.

Over time their sex has evolved into more of a mutual admiration society with orgasms than anything else. Considering that Brittany could suck a golf ball through a hose and a talented mouth on his dick always feels amazing, she is pretty much the only girl he looks forward to sleeping with. It helps that they mostly stick to giving each other oral and he doesn't have to stick anything but his tongue inside her.

Santana joins them often, but he doesn't mind so much because she prefers making out with Brittany to making out with him, Kurt is totally fine with that, he finds the whole sapphic thing oddly cute. He likes watching the way they are together. The sweetness in their touch. He's never going to enjoy it the way a heterosexual, or even a bisexual man might. But it's nice all the same. It's almost like they love each other.

Love is something Kurt usually considers himself so far removed from that even the thought of it is bitter sweet. He used to love romance. Musicals, chick flicks, love songs. He'd held all of it up on a pedestal. The most ambitious of his goals, a cute boy that made him laugh, someone who could become a husband that loved him, kids to dote on, Kurt had wanted it all. It was just that now he knew he was utterly unworthy of any of it. Kurt had become someone no one would ever think about marrying. The closest he'd ever come to would probably be blowing someone at a wedding.

Kurt tried his best not to think about it. Sometimes it felt like it was all he did. Forced his mind on safe things, like school, or concentrating on fucking someone in the backseat of their car. But sometimes he couldn't. Sometimes the thought would just hit and Kurt couldn't ignore it. Couldn't pretend it away. It's how he finds himself breaking down in his navigator.

School had been out for hours. But a few girls had wanted him to stay behind. It's not like Kurt had ever said no before. He doesn't even know where he would start now. They leave without a backwards glance when they're done. Kurt doesn't usually care. Doesn't understand what it is about this one time that sends him into a hate spiral that leaves him nauseous. Completely sick of himself. He thinks for a moment that it might be the way they'd been giggling among themselves. The way they took turns in the janitors closet while the others waited around. But doesn't make any sense, none of that's different than any other day.

He's so lost in hating himself that the soft taps on the window scare the crap out of him. He barely bites back a shriek.

"Britt?"He ventures, blinking tears out of his eyes and trying to focus on the cheerleader."What are you doing here?"

"You look sad."Brittany states with a small frown.

"I'll feel better in a little bit."Kurt lies. He'll just remember how he usually hides his misery and self disgust. He's fairly certain he's developed a system.

Her frown deepens."Singing helps sometimes, when I'm really sad."

"I don't really sing." At least, not anymore. Can't even remember the last song he'd listened to. Music is just another item in the long list of things Kurt is no longer worthy of doing.

Brittany did an about face, and Kurt thought for a moment that she'd left, before he realized she'd just gone to the passenger side. Slipping right in and beginning to hum.

He' startled into laughter once he places the song. Justin Timberlakes 'Cry Me a River' would probably be meant as a jab coming from anyone else. But there is nothing but pure sympathy coming from Brittany. Nothing mean or sarcastic about the way she sings the lyrics. Kurt joins in before he makes a solid decision to do so. Listens to the way their voices meld and something suspiciously close to warmth blooms in his chest.

Once the song ends, and their voices fade, he's left staring at Brittany. He does feel better. Not as hollow, like some empty space inside of himself has begun to fill. But more than anything he's confused. Brittany had gone out of her way to make him feel better. He doesn't know what any of his fellow skanks would have done if they caught him crying. Ignored it probably. He never says anything when Mac smokes through her tears, or Sheila starts sobbing around whatever she's eating at the time. The Skanks are the closest thing he has to friends, the only people he'd though would actually care if he spent enough time away from their smoking spot. And he knows they wouldn't have actually managed to make him feel any better, and that's if they'd even thought to try. Friends are supposed to, he thinks, funny how he hadn't even thought Brittany qualified.

Kurt tries to picture how they might go about making him feel better. Maybe they would have kissed him, attempted to distract him the best way they knew how, with sex. Or maybe they would have made fun of him, gotten him angry instead of sad. He doesn't know. Hopes like hell they never walk in on him breaking down. He's oddly not bothered by Brittany's presence. There's just no malice in her.

"I like your voice."Brittany says."It's really nice."

Kurt smiles without having to fake it."I like your voice too. I do feel better now. Thanks Britt."

"You should come to Glee club tomorrow."Brittany beams."I think your voice is better than Rachel's."

Kurt thinks about Brittany, the song they sung, and the knowledge that he hadn't even known they were friends. Usually people he has sex with are simply that. Bodies that he shares orgasms with. Even sleeping with the skanks didn't mean anything. He didn't especially like them. They were simply his people, girls who were as broken as he was. He knows Brittany sleeps around a lot. They are kin in this, if nothing else. Because Brittany is a cheerleader. People like her, and know her. She has friends, and seeing as she has Glee club, she has music. Brittany knew how to make him feel better, and Brittany is not someone people consider terribly smart.

He looks at her again. Really looks at her. All the ways they are different, and all the ways they're the same. She's so much happier than he is.

"I'll think about it."Kurt says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I feel so bad doing this to Kurt. Like really, really bad. Can I have a little feedback to feel better about this? Please?

**Author's Note:**

> So it turns out Skank Kurt is pretty compelling. I felt like I had to give this a try, so here goes. Klain is not going to happen for a while. And just a general warning, Kurt will be the William Mckinley bike, pretty much everyone has had a ride. He will also have a sort of developed relationship with the Skanks. You guys are going to either hate or pity my OC's. Maybe a bit of both in some cases. Nothing else I can think of off the top of my head so that's it for now. I hope you like it!


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